Money for love or love for money?

Both are intertwined. We need love to live a meaningful life, have relationships, because we need to have a sense of attachment, to love and to be loved. At the same time, we need money to buy at least our basic needs like food or a roof over our heads.

Both love and money are emotional things to a person. It is difficult to separate both and not talk about it in marriage. When there is no love, marriage is meaningless. Same goes for money and marriage. We can’t survive on love alone in a marriage without money.

However, money is a sensitive topic and we usually try to avoid the conversion fearing that it may create unpleasantness, arguments or misunderstandings with our spouse. But do bear in mind that it is important that you and your partner see eye-to-eye about how to manage money as a couple, it is no less important than talking about having children or retirement planning.

Why a pre-nuptial agreement?

Yes, it is not romantic at all to talk about a pre-nuptial agreement with your spouse, but it is something you need to do in order to avoid unnecessary financial fights later in the marriage. It is better to trash out different opinions in managing money before getting married to avoid emotional stress to talk about getting a divorce later in life.

Discuss with your spouse matters regarding allocation of assets that both of you have accumulated before marriage, and even unpleasant topics such as your financial obligations should one of you lose your job, or cannot work due to ill health. If one of you earns more than the other, how will you want to share your contribution for household expenses, savings account and retirement planning? Don’t miss out on details like habits and vices that cost money like shopping, smoking, drinking and medical bills etc.

Remember to respect and listen to each other’s viewpoint when both of you talk about money. It is pertinent to explain and rationalize with your spouse the ideas expressed or suggestions proposed, so that he or she can see your point of view, as what seems logical to you may not seem sensible to your partner.

Insurance protection

It is wise to review your insurance protection needs before getting married. Due to your marriage financial commitment and obligations, there is a need to increase your insurances including: life insurance, critical illness insurance, medical insurance and personal accident insurance.

If both of you own a house or car jointly, you will need to buy general insurance to avoid unnecessary financial difficulties when there is a need to replace the car or upgrade to a bigger house.

Writing a will and creating a trust

Writing a will is a must for you and your spouse. It is your wish list of how you want to distribute your assets to your loved ones after your death.

It is important to discuss who you will appoint as executors of your will and guardian of your young children. Both of you must mutually agree to the division of each other’s assets in the will in order to avoid misunderstands when the will is read to your beneficiaries.

It is also a good idea to create a trust if you have assets worth millions, to ensure you leave a legacy and protect your wealth for the next generation, just you case your spouse is not able to manage your assets after your death.

Pre-relationship and post-relationship debts

This may sound harsh, but it is imperative that you discuss with your partner the debts that both of you will bring into the marriage, if applicable. It is best that pre-relationship debts be kept separate and it is the obligation of each individual to settle those debts as soon as possible. It is important that both of you make a commitment to settle personal debts within a period of time after the wedding, if those debts cannot be paid off before you get married.

Should it become necessary to apply for a loan or even a credit card once you’re married, you will need to discuss your ability to pay for that new debt commitment. Both of you should mutually agree upon the terms of payment and time period to settle the debt.

You and your spouse should not hide from each other your debt history, because failure to fulfill loan obligations by either party can cause financial disaster to the marriage. Remember, it is much healthier to start a life together debt free!